Beauty in Chaos

I’ll be honest. I’m currently sitting in my car composing my latest Publisher’s Note, watching my kids from afar in a bouncy castle at a birthday party. They’re having a ball. They’re safe. And the opportunity affords me a chance to truly be present in this moment of writing. That’s when a brutal thunderstorm rips in and threatens the bouncy castle’s very existence. The kids don’t want to abandon their fun. Time to shut my laptop, find their shoes and force them indoors.

The entire thing makes me laugh. As though it’s a euphemism of my current life.

Lightening and thunder roar – the kids would rather be blown away in a plastic toy than miss out on a moment of childhood joy.

Trying to balance the many facets of business while raising a family and maintaining some semblance of an extra-curricular life, is tough. Any mom-prenuer will tell you that. Aside from being “Mom” and owning a business, I also happen to have 50 horses in my backyard where my husband conducts his business. A calendar full of horse shows to keep up with and a house full of varied pets. (Have I told you about the leopard gecko and more recently, bunnies?)

There are other things too. Hashtag, Life

Sometimes I simply have to give myself permission to choose progress over perfection. No one can balance it all. There are months that pass without any time spent in the saddle. Times when the laundry pile goes untouched and is traded for late night shifts at my computer. Days when dry shampoo is the solution for picking up the kids on time. And afternoons when I have to skip soccer with my family, just so I can finish up my assignments.

I believe in working. I don’t think it makes me a lesser mother, or lesser in business. I think being a mother makes me try harder. I am better as an entrepreneur, because of my kids. As we live rurally, being an entrepreneur also allows me to contribute to the family income without leaving the farm. Best of all, I can authorize myself an afternoon off to volunteer at school or go watch a talent show where our daughter has advanced to the second round. Lord knows, I’ve probably logged 40+ hours over time in the last month leading up to a press date.

Still, there are days when I feel weary and worn out and surrounded by nothing but stress and deadlines. Then, there\’s the mom guilt… I bet there isn’t a mom-preneur out there who can’t relate.

At times such as those, I draw strength from my family. The following quote popped up on my Insta feed the other day and it really struck a chord:

“Love your damn life. Take pictures of everything. Tell people you love them. Talk to random strangers. Do things you’re scared to do. Screw it, because so many of us die and no one remembers a thing we did. Take your life and make it the best story in the world. Don’t waste that opportunity.”

Love your damn life.

I do. And I will never apologize for taking too many pictures.

I’ve learned a lot in the last little while. There’s clarity in the haze. And there’s beauty in the chaos.

Just like all those precious children running barefoot from the bouncy castle.

– JW